Not All That Glitters Is Gold

We have all heard that popular saying that “Not All That Glitters is Gold.” I did not understand the full meaning of this popular saying until 20 years ago when I was working in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) as a registered nurse. On that fateful day, I was the unit charge nurse that made the assignment for the unit staff and supervised the shift operations. The shift staff was a mixture of full-time employees and rotational nurses from the Nursing agencies. There was this nurse who was so gorgeously beautiful, and I coveted everything in her; to the extent that I would love my daughter to grow up to be so beautiful like her. She was tall, light-complexion and beautiful skin; skinny, beautiful smiles, and she walked elegantly like a beauty pageant. This nurse was a perfect creation.

However, whenever this beautiful angel went on her dinner breaks that were scheduled to last for 30minutes, she usually took 45 minutes to an hour. This consistent behavior started a gossiping community in the ICU. Usually, when a nurse is out of the unit for breaks, the other nurses will assume the responsibility of taking care of the patients allotted to the nurse who is on break. On this day of my being in charge, I was furious because the other nurses were “bitching” bitterly about her and they instructed me to confront her inconsiderate time away from the unit.

Unfortunately, when I was growing up as a teenager and young adult, I hated to confront other people, loved to please everyone, and wanted everyone to like me. Therefore, confronting this nurse because I was a charge nurse was perceived as an insurmountable task for me. I had to rehearse several strategies in my head on how to do it without offending her, even though she was taking undue advantage of the hospital management time.

Finally, I mustered the courage and called her to the lounge away from the other nurses. First, I went around in a circle trying to patronize her and making sure that she wouldn’t be angry with our discussion. Subsequently, I told her about the concerns of the other nurses and that she would be reported to the supervisor that she was neglecting her patients by taking longer than expected break time. Just then, tears filled her eyes and rolled down her cheeks as she unraveled her hidden stories behind her long breaks and time away from the unit.

Through her sobs she said (paraphrasing): “ Mabel, I don’t intentionally take longer breaks, it is because of my health condition. I have a colostomy bag that fills up with liquid stools and gas and if I don’t change it, the bag will burst open and give me public humiliation. During my dinner breaks, I clean up myself, change the bag; thereafter, proceed to eat my dinner. That whole process takes longer than the 30 minutes allotted time for my dinner break.” She then removed her uniform to show me the colostomy. Alas!! I was in shock and I almost fainted. My anger dissipated in a heartbeat, and I broke down crying with her. I have never been so wrong with assumptions in my life. I made alternative arrangements with her to use my dinner breaks for her colostomy cleanup and that when I wasn’t working, she should be cognizant of her time; then I hugged her. I was so depressed throughout my 12 hours shift. This was a top secret that I couldn’t divulge to the other nurses.

I learned from this encounter that I should beware of covetousness. I was a secret admirer of the things I saw in her, but not the hidden agenda. In addition, this encounter engraved CONTENTMENT and GRATITUDE upon the table of my heart and became a roadmap that guides my perception. “Not all that truly glitters is GOLD.”